Dearest Internet
Do you have fingers? Do you have ears? Well, now is your chance to connect them together and vote Art Brut’s ‘Lost Weekend’ into the sound pits of 6music’s daytime listeners. Vote HERE!!

Defeat is not an option, even though we are up against Let’s Wrestle who I quite like. Nevertheless, unite and destroy them!!!

Yours victoriously

Barnaby Fudge

Dearest Internet

Asleep beneath my mound of oily rags, I am visited by excruciatingly potent dreams. Sweaty harbingers of the day to day life the rest of them enjoy. So vivid are these fiery visions, their portent finds me screaming for my long dead mother’s corpse; my night terrors a fondled memory. So I am forced into action, to show myself via electronic video to the world outside. To finally prostitute my leathery bum cheek of a face to the media drunk masses. So find me here, fitting like a spastic monkey’s grinder to the beat of a hairless dancing bear.

However, I am extolling the brilliance of AB HQ’s most bloody newborn brain child. It is time for Set List Bingo time at The Buffalo Bar on April 9th. This is the official launch party for ‘Brilliant Tragic’ so your attendance is not just requested. It is demanded. But this not just any party, something is rotten in Islington.

Do Art Brut’s clever, clever set lists, planned theatrics and cabaret tricks make you sick to your stomach? Would you rather cock clamp a gorilla than see another poorly rehearsed segue? Want to see something real? Hate the hits, just want the bits? Well, now’s your opportunity to throw tantrums and chairs until you get the exact set YOU want, plus win a prize for the pleasure. Tickets and rules for this booze soaked free for all are only available through Pledge. I will be making a personal appearance. Possible giving a sexy surprise to a gorilla or djing at Guided Missile after. I haven’t decided.

Yours sweatily

Barnaby Pledge

Dearest Internet

I trust your new surroundings are treating you well. I must apologise for my initial rudeness. I was advised to add a little shock value in the launch post. However, this wild, unpredictable, malicious behavior is not for me. I do not wish to repeat the sleepless night that followed these ill thought out scrawlngs. I woke in a pool of sweat, screaming, with visions of you burned into my teary retinas. It will be your old friend Barnaby from here on out. Welcome back.

So. Here we are. Where to begin?

Well, ART BRUT HAVE A BRAND NEW RECORD!! It is named ‘BRILLIANT! TRAGIC!’ and it is released on the 23rd May 2011. A single ‘LOST WEEKEND’ will be poured out on the 16th May. You can find the full press release here.

Our good friend Jamie McKelvie has pulled together some beautiful artwork for it which, I think you will agree, looks criminally amazing. Please do not hesitate to tell all of your friends what a sweet new look AB are rocking for the upcoming season.

I don’t want too many expiring minds on my hands so we’ll save the upcoming tide of updates for separate posts. I have some compassion.

Yours with a welcome return

Barnaby Fudge

Dearest Internet

Laurel and Hardy. Torville and Dean. Turner and Hooch. The list of great partnerships goes on. As my affections towards you continue to go unnoticed, I must finally begin to accept that you and I will never be among these legendary duos. The collection of long distance photographs and pieces of hair must remain my only release.

However, there is a new alliance in town. Art Brut and Pledge Music. An unholy partnership providing dreams made reality, a fantasy factory that the AB fan of yesteryear would have given their left lung to have seen. Want Ian and Eddie round your house? Not a problem. Want the WHOLE band at your next turbo rave? Get involved. Simply want some signed artwork? Smash it here.

Hey, a little strapped for cash? How about a FREE FREAKIN DOWNLOAD!! It’s extremely sexy in every possible way.

Let the dreams come alive!

Yours

Barnaby Fudge